Murphy's Laws of War for Helicopters
Jun 20, 2009 6:12:45 GMT -5
Post by avordvet on Jun 20, 2009 6:12:45 GMT -5
Laws of War for Helicopters
* Helicopter tail rotors are naturally drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it may be possible to ward off this event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It's just what they do.
* The engine RPM and the rotor RPM must BOTH be kept in the GREEN. Failure to heed this commandment can adversely affect the morale of the crew.
* The terms Protective Armor and Helicopter are mutually exclusive.
* "Chicken Plates" are not something you order in a restaurant.
* The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Law: The louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker your eyes will be drawn to the gauges.
Corollary: The longer you stare at the gauges the less time it takes them to move from green to red.
* Loud, sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention.
* The further you fly into the mountains, the louder the strange engine noises become.
* It is a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time.
* "Pucker Factor" is the formal name of the equation that states; the more hairy the situation is, the more of the seat cushion will be sucked up your butt.
It can be expressed in its mathematical formula of: S (suction) + H (height above ground) + I (interest in staying alive) + T (# of tracers coming your way). Thus the term 'SHIT!' can also be used to denote a situation where a high Pucker Factor is being encountered.
* Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Any combination of these can be deadly.
* Helicopters have been described as nothing more than 50,000 parts flying in close formation. It is the mechanics responsibility to keep that formation as tight as possible.
* It is mathematically impossible for either hummingbirds, or helicopters to fly. Fortunately, neither are aware of this.
* LZ's are always hot.
* There are 'old' pilots and 'bold' pilots, but there are no 'old, bold' pilots.
* Any helicopter pilot story that starts "There I was,...." will be either true or false. Any of these stories that end with "No shit." was neither true nor false.
* The mark of a truly superior pilot is the use of his superior judgment to avoid situations requiring the use of his superior skill
* Ch-53's are living proof, that if you strap enough engines to something... it will fly.
www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-war.html
* Helicopter tail rotors are naturally drawn toward trees, stumps, rocks, etc. While it may be possible to ward off this event some of the time, it cannot, despite the best efforts of the crew, always be prevented. It's just what they do.
* The engine RPM and the rotor RPM must BOTH be kept in the GREEN. Failure to heed this commandment can adversely affect the morale of the crew.
* The terms Protective Armor and Helicopter are mutually exclusive.
* "Chicken Plates" are not something you order in a restaurant.
* The BSR (Bang Stare Red) Law: The louder the sudden bang in the helicopter, the quicker your eyes will be drawn to the gauges.
Corollary: The longer you stare at the gauges the less time it takes them to move from green to red.
* Loud, sudden noises in a helicopter WILL get your undivided attention.
* The further you fly into the mountains, the louder the strange engine noises become.
* It is a bad thing to run out of airspeed, altitude and ideas all at the same time.
* "Pucker Factor" is the formal name of the equation that states; the more hairy the situation is, the more of the seat cushion will be sucked up your butt.
It can be expressed in its mathematical formula of: S (suction) + H (height above ground) + I (interest in staying alive) + T (# of tracers coming your way). Thus the term 'SHIT!' can also be used to denote a situation where a high Pucker Factor is being encountered.
* Running out of pedal, fore or aft cyclic, or collective are all bad ideas. Any combination of these can be deadly.
* Helicopters have been described as nothing more than 50,000 parts flying in close formation. It is the mechanics responsibility to keep that formation as tight as possible.
* It is mathematically impossible for either hummingbirds, or helicopters to fly. Fortunately, neither are aware of this.
* LZ's are always hot.
* There are 'old' pilots and 'bold' pilots, but there are no 'old, bold' pilots.
* Any helicopter pilot story that starts "There I was,...." will be either true or false. Any of these stories that end with "No shit." was neither true nor false.
* The mark of a truly superior pilot is the use of his superior judgment to avoid situations requiring the use of his superior skill
* Ch-53's are living proof, that if you strap enough engines to something... it will fly.
www.murphys-laws.com/murphy/murphy-war.html